Through the Ringer
Let me tell you about Jenny (not her real name). She works in the accounts receivable department at my job. She is a professing Christian, but she does not belong to a local church. She has recently gotten engaged to a gentleman that is also a professing Christian.
We were talking about her upcoming wedding and I asked her if they were getting married at his local church. As it turns out, he does not belong to a church either. I guess she could tell by the look on my face what I thought of that, and she began to explain why she was not a member of a church. During the conversation, she said she had been "put through the ringer by the church". I asked her how many local churches she had been a member of and she said three.
Now, I do not personally think that it is reasonable nor right for a Christian to disavow church membership because of a few bad experiences. Even if all three go-arounds at church membership had ended badly, that is a very small sampling of the churches, even within any mainline denomination. I also do not believe that the church, any church, should be blamed as a whole for the failure of the pastor, the elders, or some of the members.
Listen: people disappoint. It's in our nature. No matter what the relationship is, be it a romantic relationship, a friend, or a pastor/congregant relationship, if you stay in it long enough, you will be disappointed with something the person does. That is why we rest in the only One Who never disappoints.
I also believe that the principle of abusus non tollit usum applies: abuse does not take away use. Just because people in one church, or even three churches, have abused their position and mistreated you, disappointed you, taken advantage of you, or hurt you, it does not mean that you should not be a member of a church. It does not take away the fact that God commands it, and that a church, properly obeying and seeking God, is not exactly what you need most. Just because I once almost choked doesn't mean food is not good or needful.
But, all of that being said, I think there is something else, something even more important, to take from Jenny's situation. Jenny believes in God and wants to honor Jesus, but others who have claimed Him as theirs have hurt her in His name. Others who bear His name, who are to encourage her, to build her up, to help shoulder her burdens, and who are to show her the love of God have not only failed, but they have done exactly the opposite. They have discouraged her, they have torn down her faith in her fellow believers, they have added to her burden, and they have shown her not the love of God, but the hypocrisy, pride, and deceit of the devil.
What do we do? It is easy to tell someone that they should be part of a local church. It takes far more, and is infinitely more important, to do what God commands: encourage, build up, bear each other's burdens, and love. What are we to the people in our churches? What are we to our brothers and sisters that are not in our church? What are we to everyone in our own mission field?
God forbid that any of us should do to someone what has been done to Jenny. And God forbid that we would all not be exactly what people like Jenny need us to be.
We were talking about her upcoming wedding and I asked her if they were getting married at his local church. As it turns out, he does not belong to a church either. I guess she could tell by the look on my face what I thought of that, and she began to explain why she was not a member of a church. During the conversation, she said she had been "put through the ringer by the church". I asked her how many local churches she had been a member of and she said three.
Now, I do not personally think that it is reasonable nor right for a Christian to disavow church membership because of a few bad experiences. Even if all three go-arounds at church membership had ended badly, that is a very small sampling of the churches, even within any mainline denomination. I also do not believe that the church, any church, should be blamed as a whole for the failure of the pastor, the elders, or some of the members.
Listen: people disappoint. It's in our nature. No matter what the relationship is, be it a romantic relationship, a friend, or a pastor/congregant relationship, if you stay in it long enough, you will be disappointed with something the person does. That is why we rest in the only One Who never disappoints.
I also believe that the principle of abusus non tollit usum applies: abuse does not take away use. Just because people in one church, or even three churches, have abused their position and mistreated you, disappointed you, taken advantage of you, or hurt you, it does not mean that you should not be a member of a church. It does not take away the fact that God commands it, and that a church, properly obeying and seeking God, is not exactly what you need most. Just because I once almost choked doesn't mean food is not good or needful.
But, all of that being said, I think there is something else, something even more important, to take from Jenny's situation. Jenny believes in God and wants to honor Jesus, but others who have claimed Him as theirs have hurt her in His name. Others who bear His name, who are to encourage her, to build her up, to help shoulder her burdens, and who are to show her the love of God have not only failed, but they have done exactly the opposite. They have discouraged her, they have torn down her faith in her fellow believers, they have added to her burden, and they have shown her not the love of God, but the hypocrisy, pride, and deceit of the devil.
What do we do? It is easy to tell someone that they should be part of a local church. It takes far more, and is infinitely more important, to do what God commands: encourage, build up, bear each other's burdens, and love. What are we to the people in our churches? What are we to our brothers and sisters that are not in our church? What are we to everyone in our own mission field?
God forbid that any of us should do to someone what has been done to Jenny. And God forbid that we would all not be exactly what people like Jenny need us to be.
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